Bereaved Parents are Powerful!

Dealing with the death of a loved one is very hard, but not impossible. Dealing with the death of a child is particularly difficult and the most difficult to survive. The grief and pain of losing a child are never ending. I would say that grieving parents never get over losing a child. As a bereaved parent myself, I know that we relive the moment we got that terrible news over and over again, day after day. The fact that you’re reading this blog right now (and that I’m writing it) means that we are survivors and much stronger and more powerful than we realize. Even though we have to live with our grief and pain for the rest of our lives, that doesn’t mean that we can’t be productive and get some enjoyment out of life. We just have to understand that God has a purpose for everything and that most successes, inventions, and prosperity come from adversity. In most cases, the greater the adversity, the greater the reward.

As bereaved parents, we have to allow ourselves an appropriate grieving period. This will be different for everyone, so don’t let anyone rush you to “get over it.” Once you are ready to figure out your life and where you go from here, www.grief2joy.com is here to help you figure it out.

There will come a time when you will stop asking yourself “why?” questions and start asking yourself “what?” questions. You will stop asking questions such as: “why did this happen,” “why couldn’t I prevent it,” and “why my child;” and start asking questions like: “what do I do with my life now,” “what is the purpose of this,” and “what can I do to help others in the same situation?” At that point, know that you are beginning to heal. I know that none of us will ever forget our children, and we will always hold on to and talk about our memories of them; but we still have a future and a wonderful life ahead of us.

Visit www.grief2joy.com to learn more.  Please join while membership is still free. I look forward to getting to know about you and your child.

Love, Jacqui Nock

Shoe Size Tells Your Age

All of my blogs have been pretty serious. Today, I want to take time to have a little fun. I’m sure you have heard the expression “act your age, not your shoe size.” Well, did you know that your shoe size can actually tell your age? Here’s how:

1. Take your shoe size.

2. Multiply it by five.

3. Add 50.

4. Multiply by 20.

5. Add 1012.

6. Subtract the year you were born.

The first digit is your shoe size, and the last two digits is your age. It worked for me! Let me know if it works for you.

Jacqui

Loss of a Child

Recently two of my best friends found out they were going to have a baby. That was very exciting and happy news. A couple of weeks after they found out about their new baby, there were some complications and my friend had to be put on bed rest for a couple of weeks. No one, not even the doctors, knew whether she was going to lose the baby. That was a very stressful two weeks with a lot of prayers, tears, and stress. The good news is that it’s a month later now and she still carrying the baby and is back to work. They are going to have a baby after all.

The point I want to make with this blog is that it doesn’t matter at what stage parents lose their child; the grief and the pain is still the same. I’ve met bereaved parents who have had miscarriages or abortions, people whose children died from cancer or other diseases, parents who lost infants, parents who lost teenagers, and parents like myself who lost older children (my daughter was 35 and she passed away). The point is that losing a child is losing a child; it doesn’t matter what age they are. I have done some research and found that the only thing that makes the death of a child more traumatic is if a child is murdered or commits suicide. In my research, I’ve also found out that parents who outlive their children have a 35% greater chance of dying an early death themselves. I’m sure that is due to  that stress, grief and pain that never goes away. It's a proven fact that prolonged stress contributes to early death.

Through my website, www.grief2joy.com,  I hope to  help bereaved parents have a better life. Even though we will never get over the death of our children, we don’t have to wallow in our grief and pain for the rest of our lives. There is a way to pick up the pieces and go on to be productive and experience joy and happiness once again.

Visit www.grief2joy.com to learn more. I look forward to getting to know about you and your child.

Love, Jacqui

When Your Child Dies...

When your child dies you suffer life’s most devastating loss. What happens to you is worse than anything you can imagine. When your child dies, a part of you dies with them, and you spiral down into hell on earth. Nothing can prepare you for the pain you feel, and you lose your will to live. The sad part is that you keep waking up every morning to face another day without your child. How do you deal with such devastating pain and grief without losing your mind? How do you go on? What is the meaning of life now? Even though you may have surviving children, a spouse, relatives, friends, and your career, everything is changed now. You will never see life the same again.

My child, Dawn, died at the age of 35 on March 28, 2007 after giving birth to my third grandchild. I couldn’t function for two years after that. I lost my career as a real estate agent, I lost both houses that I owned and most of my possessions. I tried to put my life back together, but found that there are very few resources available for bereaved parents.

Doctors, psychologists, and everyone else wants to put bereaved parents in the same category as others who have lost loved ones. We are not in the same category, because the death of a child is the one loss that is unnatural. You can expect to outlive a spouse, a sibling, or a parent, but outliving your child just shouldn’t happen. When it does, the world seems backward and everything is strange. Eating, driving a car, laughing, and other familiar things seem strange now. It’s like you are living on another planet and have to learn about things all over again. You have to adjust to a new world without your child.

As I stated earlier, when I finally got to a point where I was tired of grieving and ready to put my life back together, I found very few resources  for bereaved parents. It seems like it’s just an issue that no one wants to deal with. In today’s world when children (adult children included) are dying at an alarming rate, something has to be done for the parents left behind to grieve. I found out that every year in the U.S. alone 50,000 children under the age of 30 die leaving behind 100,000 grieving parents. Since no one else wants to address this issue, I decided to do it myself. I created a website called www.grief2joy.com that will help bereaved parents to put their lives back together and discover what their life should be without their child.

The purpose of www.grief2joy.com is to help parents who have suffered the loss of a child. Although the main focus is on parents dealing with the death of a child, this web site can be used by anyone who has had a devastating loss of any kind. Maybe you have lost a good friend, your spouse, a sibling, your job, your business, your home, or perhaps you have gone through a divorce. www.grief2joy.com can help you rebuild your life regardless of the type of loss.

There’s no need to stay depressed, hopeless, and feel like your life is over. It could be just beginning with www.grief2joy.com. We have some wonderful plans for bereaved parents. Please visit the web site and tell us what you think. We value your opinion and will respond if you have questions or concerns

Jacqui Nock

What are You Doing?

I want to know what other grieving parents are doing to honor their child. I created a web site in honor of my child, Dawn, who died five years ago after giving birth. So, what are you doing to honor your child? Visit my web site and tell me what you think. I hope you find something you like there. Jacqui www.dawnslegacy.org

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When Your Child Dies - Spiritual Support

When my daughter and only child Dawn died on March 28, 2007, I knew that I could not survive without my faith. In the beginning it doesn't help much because of the deep despair and pain I was in. Once time move on, I had to realize that God has a reason for everything, so l wanted to find God's purpose for my life now, and how my experience can help others. For me seeking spiritual support while dealing with Dawn's death has made rebuilding my life much easier.

As humans, we are created by God as three-part beings--body, mind and spirit. We mostly focus on trying to maintain our health and sanity when we're grieving. That is very important, but there is a spiritual side to healing, too. Surviving the death of a child is the greatest challenge you will face in life. In order for you to be made whole again, you need to address and rebuild all aspects of your life--body, mind and spirit. Once you find that balance, your healing will begin to move along faster. I know we will never get over the death of our children, but we have to find meaning for the rest of our lives.

Some of you may already have your hands full with a spouse and other children, but as an older single woman, Dawn and my grandkids were my life. When I lost Dawn, it was like I lost half of my life and my identity. Of course, I still have my grandkids, but I had to rebuild my life without Dawn. it's so hard, because I see her in them and they don't even know her. My granddaughter Ashley was 9 (she remember a little about her mommy), James was 1 and Michael was a day old when their mother died.

There is a Spiritual section on my web site. I hope there's something there that you like. Click Here to see more.

Peace & Blessings!